Soul Ties: Relationships

Many women may have dated different men over the course of their lifetime–vice versa–but may notice that each partner exhibited some of the same characteristics. Many in dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships cannot understand why they keep attracting the same kind of person. The answer lies partly in your spirit identifying with the other person’s spirit (meaning that both people are operating on the same spiritual frequency), but mostly the connection is sealed when the relationship is consummated. When you have a sexual relationship with another person, you feel a strong attachment to them because your souls have been joined to each other. Even though you may have broken up with the person, if you have not prayed over your connection to them, you have not broken up with the spirit that is operating in them! Thus, every man or woman you date thereafter will be a different physical body, but the same spirit following you through each relationship.

That’s why the Bible puts such emphasis on fornication, immorality and adultery. We were not created to have sex outside of marriage. The woman was created physically from a man’s rib (Genesis 2:22), but spiritually from a man’s soul! The Bible says when a man and woman marry, they will become “one flesh,” because their souls have become conjoined. This broken covenant is the result of sexual disease, out of wedlock pregnancy, break down of the family structure, and emotional discord because of rebellion against God’s word.

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:6-9).

Moreover, when you commit adultery, you are not only physically sleeping with some one’s husband/wife, but you are also copulating with the spirit of cheating, the spirit of lying, and the spirit of dishonesty! Therefore, you have made an agreement in the spirit realm with whatever characteristics this person has in his or her spirit. If we define copulating: it means connected or joined. Therefore beloved, you have “connected” the spirits to your soul. Those spirits are now apart of who you are! You made an agreement with them when you opened the door to sin. Because of the submission to sin in one area of your life, you will be given to lying, cheating and dishonesty in other areas of your life. You have heard many a wives or husbands of cheating spouses utter, “He or she has changed,” “they aren’t the same person as they were when we got married.” The cheating spouse will result to telling lie after lie, and manipulating scheme after scheme to cover his or her tracks. They will begin to operate out of character because they are under demonic subjection. In other words, their soul is being ruled by these spirits.

Moreover, abused women often find themselves selecting the same mate over and over again because they have entered into a soul agreement with an abusive, violent, controlling or manipulative spirit. Oftentimes, these soul ties are made before a woman is even born; by the parents. In most cases the mother has married an abusive or controlling man, and the spirit has been passed down her lineage to her daughter. A lot of women feel guilty because they cannot understand why they keep choosing the same type of man, but in actuality this spirit is the one pursuing them! If women are not aware of a controlling and abusive pattern they will keep entering these same type of relationships. She has to begin to make a conscious effort to pay attention to the type of behavior patterns a potential male suitor exhibits. Unfortunately, many women will deem this behavior acceptable because that’s the male example they were shown growing up in the home. It is true, many women marry replicas of their fathers! Most importantly, an abused woman must do a lot of spiritual work to break this generational curse, and sever ties with this type of spirit. It will take working on one’s self esteem, self worth, and learning to love oneself first. Whether it be through counseling, Bible study, or proactive self study. One must become diligent in identifying what causes her to make the choices that she makes, getting to the root cause of her behavior, and dealing with childhood emotional wounds.

In my research and counseling, I have encountered many people who have been sexually abused or molested. Often I find that many take on the spirit of the molester by later becoming the abuser themselves, delve into pornography or, people who have been molested by a same-sex abuser often enter into a soul tie with a homosexual spirit. It is called a spirit of transference. In no way am I saying all homosexuals are a result of a spirit of transference, but a majority of those whom I have personally counseled; this has been their testimony. An abused person must do extensive soul searching and Biblical study to identify their true identity–that which God created us to be–to deflect the identity which has been opposed upon them by the devil.

Additionally, a good majority of women who have been molested often turn to prostitution, drug use or promiscuous behavior. They enter into soul ties with a spirit of self-hate, hatred towards men, or destructive behavior. There have been countless cases of gay and abused men and women who have, through years of earnestly searching for truth, found their true identity in Christ and have broken this demonic stronghold.

But it is not easy! The devil will fight you every step of the way! But know beloved, it is our birth right to freedom in Jesus Christ!

In conclusion, breaking free from soul ties is attainable! Don’t think for one moment you have to stay where you are: in a hopeless, dark and lonely place where it seems like you cannot escape a burdening sin or a demonic stronghold! God is a rescuer! It will take a strong desire and a willingness to want to change, and submittance to God’s will for your life. I am living proof of how God can come in and put the pieces of a broken life back together again and use it for His kingdom! Amen!

We must be very careful in guarding our spirit and what we open our spirit up to. There is so much more I want to say on this topic I will conclude with part 3 of Soul ties in the next post!…stay tuned!

Your worst enemy

It’s six am, the alarm clock, blaring, starts the tone of the day. You jump up disoriented, heart racing, and dash out of bed to shower before stumbling over piles of clothes strewn over the floor. Little Johnny starts screaming at the top of his lungs. “Where is that baby sitter?! She’s usually here by …” before you can complete the sentence the phone rings and you hear a quaint voice on the answering machine, “Hello…aah… hi Ms. Outtaorder, I’m not going to be able to come in today, something came up.” “The nerve of that little wench! She’s supposed to be here already!” you quip.  You sprint out of the shower, rummage through the accumulated junk compiled in your room that hasn’t been cleaned in two weeks, and find your phone book nestled underneath a plate of half-eaten, rotten Chinese food that exposed the deathly odor you had been trying to pin point. You scramble through the phone book leaving messages out of desperation to every relative, church member, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend trying to find a replacement sitter. “If you come to work late one more time, it will result in your termination!” your cantankerous boss’ voice resonates in the back of your mind. After leaving a barrage of messages as a result of unanswered calls, you hang up the phone in despair; hair dripping wet, car keys in hand, and little Johnny straddled across your hip. Tears start to stream down your face as scenes of a crumbling life play out in your mind’s eye. You plop down on the bed and begin to question God: “Lord my life is a mess! My husband left me, I don’t know how I’m going to pay the mortgage this month, and how am I going to raise this son that you have given me? ‘Lord, I don’t understand, I walked away from the world and gave my life to you and accepted you as my Savior, since then everything has gone wrong in my life!”

This is cry of many hearts today. You thought you had your life all figured out. You had dreams, goals and a clear direction for your life. But yet along the way you have faced nothing but wrong turns, disappointment, and despair. When you were younger you had so much zest and zeal and you started out with great enthusiasm. You may have spent years trying to climb the proverbial corporate ladder, chase a childhood dream, or start your own business only to have been faced with closed doors, rejection, discrimination, or could only go so far in your company. Ten or more so years later you find yourself at the end of own strength. You have allowed anger, bitterness, and despondency to become the lord of your life. Although you may have accepted Christ into your life you are still not walking in the fullness of His power. Every area of your life is broken and you have come to the realization that you are the common denominator. You have let years of discouragement, failure, and defeat beat down your door. Maybe you have lost all hope and cannot possibly fathom a better life for yourself.  Perhaps God has bought you to your end so He can give you a new beginning. Perhaps He is directing your steps so you could have a full life in Him. Beloved, this cross roads is where many of us make the wrong turn and walk out of Jesus’ path.

In the book of Acts in the New Testament, after God convicted Paul because of his persecution of the Christian church, God gave Ananias a vision and sent him to Paul (then named Saul) to speak the word of the Lord concerning Paul’s life (Acts 9:10-18 NKJV).  In Vs13, Ananias answered, “Lord I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem.” The Bible says that the Lord told Ananias that Paul is a choosen vessel and that he will bear “My name.”  Moreover the Lord professed, “For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” After Ananias laid hands on Paul the scales fell off  his eyes and he was filled with the Holy Spirit. Beloved, God opened Paul’s spiritual eyes and set his soul afire for the word of the Lord.  So much so that Paul traveled from the road of Damascus to as far as Thessalonia to establish the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  It was out of Paul’s own oppression and reports of Christian persecution of established churches that the letter to the Thessalonian church was written.  In Thessalonians 3:3 Paul tells the church, “ that no one should be shaken by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we are appointed for this.” Paul reminds the church that when he was with them before, how he told them Christians will have to suffer tribulation.

When God called Paul out of a sinful and rebellious life, He clearly told him that he would have to endure many hardships on this journey. However, when Paul accepted God’s invitation to be filled with the Holy Spirit that allotted him boldness and courage to defeat his enemies. Many of us may have started out like Paul on the road to Damascus: full of hate, judgment, bitterness, and autonomy. You may have let wrong thinking direct your life and because of it you have become your own worst enemy. Many people are living powerless and defeated simply because they have not accepted Christ, and/or asked the Holy Spirit to come into their lives. Paul’s letters still apply to us today, he warns us that as Christians we will be afflicted for the gospel’s sake, but saints it’s the Holy Spirit that will give us the strength to overcome any trial we face.

Repeat this prayer: “Holy spirit, I ask you to come into my heart and lead me. I release the spirit of negative thinking, anger, and bitterness right now. Direct my thoughts and my actions everyday, and help me to walk in a spirit of love towards myself as well as others, in Jesus’ name. Amen!”

Beloved, if we are to be triumphant in this Christian walk it will require diligently guarding our minds. In her book “Battlefield of the mind,” Joyce Meyer emphatically states that our mind is the battlefield. To proclaim victory over any area of our life we must first win the battle in our mind! We must renew our thinking! Whatever darts satan throw at us we can render them powerless by edifying ourselves daily in the word.

2 Corinthians 10:5 teaches us how to stand against the war that rages in the mind by “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

Moreover, Ephesians 4:31 admonishes us to “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Many people, unmindful, speak death over their lives by their words (Proverbs 18:21). I cannot tell you how many Christians make the mistake of speaking pessimistically regarding the affairs of their lives. Words flow out of the abundance of the heart (Luke 6:45)! Saints, we must get in the habit of speaking, in the name of Jesus, blessings over our lives no matter what it looks like in the physical realm. Lastly, along with renewing our mind, and guarding our tongue must ask God to purify our hearts. (Psalm 51:10).